10 Fortunes I Would NOT Like to Read in a Fortune Cookie

Preview

1. Look out behind you!

2. Whatever you do, don't eat the cookie, and wash your hands immediately.

3. I told you so.

4. That one day you didn't open the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes envelope? You really had won!

5. We've been trying to reach you about your car warranty!

6. Just because you have impostor's syndrome doesn't mean they won't find out you're a fraud.

7. Duck!

8. I hope I have enough room to write this on this fortune cookie paper. You will find $10 million buried at

9. You really should not have chosen the blue pill.

10. The other 5,000,000 cookies in this batch say, "For a good time, call" and your phone number. Enjoy.