10 Ideas For Getting People To Change Their Minds
How to get stubborn people to consider new points of view.
1. The Socratic Method
2. The Inverse Power Rule
3. The Two Question Technique
4. The Iron Dome Technique
5. The 3 Question Technique
(My personal favorite)
6. Framing. Example 1 - the Framing technique.
Example of how to use framing to change someone's mind. "Framing" means describing an issue in a certain way so that it becomes easy to say "yes" to a suggestion that would otherwise be difficult.
For instance, when NYC was having budget problems in the 90s and people were saying, "Should we close firehouses?" they framed it as, "Should we close schools?" And suddenly people were willing to spend money on firehouses since they were no longer thinking about schools.
Framing is used a lot by politicians (both sides) and advertisers (both sides). It's not always ethical but if you want to get stubborn people to change their minds, this is a good way to do it. Here are some other examples of framing:
- If you have kids, you might say, "I am against vaccines because I love my children." But if you don't have kids then say, "I am for vaccines because I love my neighbor's children." This makes it easy for parents who love their own children also to love other people's children and support vaccines for them.
- An anti-abortion activist saying, "Abortion is murder!" But if pro-choice says, "Abortion is healthcare," then anti-abortion will probably agree with the latter because they still believe abortion is wrong but now it's just like any other medical procedure (and therefore should be legal).
7. How can you reverse the power dynamic? This is useful if someone has more power than you and is stubbornly refusing your point of view. Ask them questions about what THEY think about YOUR point of view! For instance...
- If someone doesn't like your idea for a business but likes your background working on XYZ business then ask them questions about XYZ business so they start thinking about that instead of your new business idea.
- If someone doesn't like your political viewpoint but likes the fact that you went to Harvard then ask them questions about Harvard so they start thinking about that instead of politics.
- A friend once told me he was trying to get his daughter into college and she didn't want to go at all but he wanted her there badly enough that he would do anything necessary for her to go there too. So he said, ""Well, I guess I'll just have to bribe every single person in admissions at Harvard." She replied immediately with a list of things she wanted him to do ("I want this car", etc) in order for her not only go there but also live off campus while she was there. He did all those things and she went there and lived off campus and loved it even though she never thought she would enjoy going there before this technique was used on her (by her father).