10 rules for a new religion
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1. To consume your marriage with your spouse, you must first give her father a foot massage
If her father is dead, she can pick someone else for you.
2. Consuming maple syrup is forbidden
And nobody really knows why, although there are some hypotheses.
3. Do not masturbate - except in designated areas
4. There are 392 types of heaven and you can pick the one you want when you die
But you get paralyzed by the paradox of choice so you stay in purgatory for centuries.
5. There is a hell, but only for people who talk about their screenplay without ever actually writing it
6. Prayers must be done while doing a handstand
7. You can have sex before marriage, but a priest must be present
8. The religious homeland is in Antarctica and you must make at least one visit in your lifetime
Penguins are sacred. If you encounter one, bow down and pledge allegiance.
9. There are 14523 and a half gods
You must pray to all of them at least once in your life and they all have very complicated names that are hard to remember. One of them is a bowling champion and he's a really cool guy.
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