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12 takeaways from this week's self-evaluation

I was sick throughout the week; the first half from the remaining food poisoning and the second half from cold. I lost weight (it takes me weeks of exercising LESS and eating a lot more to gain 1 kg and just one weekend to lose 3). I couldn't do much of my personal work. Yet it was a good week, possibly a pivotal one if it turns out that some of the minor changes I made turns out to be the peak of the fulcrum.

    1. Continuing the commuting conundrum

    I'm okay commuting 3 days a week at most 4. The current 5 is what is causing stress. However, I go to a cafe or some other location on off days to do my own things. Hypothetically if I could choose time without having to coordinate with the others to occupy the same physical space, I would be fine. In other words, in local terms, either time or space should give. It's like an arm-bar when both are fixed. As long as either time or space is flexible I am fine, which is why I am aiming at both.

    2. Division of labor: It's so much better with the gf in the kitchen and me doing less skilled chores

    My girlfriend came home for the weekend, and I was able to scrub the black stuff off the pot. Last week's minor episode concluded with a happy ending

    With her in the kitchen, I go through audiobooks while doing manual work and she has fun with her recipes. We eat better. The only catch is that once I get used to it I eschew doing kitchen chores so much that when she is away my dinner becomes boiled eggs + milk + banana + nuts.

    3. General life-path

    Ever since I talked to a CFP about my financial planning, I have been worried about falling off the track with my retirement plan especially with the decreasing social securities. This is why last week I wrote that I will stop looking at my portfolio P/L daily. In what universe would my magic gaze change the numbers.

    Somewhere along the way I think it made me play things safe. This isn't really fun at all. There's no set-point where I'll just change gears and things will be exciting. I will jolt myself with something more thrilling.

    4. Conclusion from #3

    I will reinstate 5-5 excitement and nervousness planning I did in 2017 and 2018. Each week as I do my weekly self-evaluation and plan the next week, I come up with a list of 5 things whose result would excite me the most and 5 things whose process would make me most nervous. When there is an intersection, that's often where I stagnate because I am being a chicken. I started it originally because I was very dissatisfied with my life then, along with the weekly self-evaluation.

    I forget why I stopped doing the 5-5. I remember there being a reason. It's just that the my weekly evaluations before 2019 are not indexed...

    5. Major win: cleaned up my website!

    6. Major win: crossed off the most obvious solutions solutions to the commuting

    There were 2. The first didn't work. The second one would work in the mid-term but not aligned with my longer-term goals. I'm crossing off both because mid-way solutions are where you survive and live but don't have fun living. What's the point. They all require hard work anyway.

    7. The family trip is more complicated than I thought

    It's just a single day this weekend. I think the problem is that I try to prevent all the things that could go wrong instead of all the ways to bring delight to each person. After all, aren't we first and foremost making the time to see each other's face?

    Man. Wherever I go, there I am. Travel planning is the fun and exciting part where everything is possible because nothing is chosen yet. Not a fan of Bob Marley, but hey: Don't worry. Be happy. Maybe I should bring back the gratitude practice.

    8. Gratitude: almost getting a knee injury

    While training, my partner fell on my left knee while practicing a sweep. I am so thankful that the coach changed partners some minutes before that because the previous partner was much bigger than me. I still feel a little on some angles but if the big guy fell on my knee the same way, I may not be walking for months.

    9. Major realization: I worry too much

    I kind of thought this for long. At the same time, I thought of myself as being prudent rather than a worrying person. Now I know that I worry too much. A big catalyst for this was listening to "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" this week.

    I will come up with something more actionable than "don't worry" throughout the week.

    10. Experiment during the week: doing absolutely nothing for 15 minutes in the evening

    It stopped doing anything on Wednesday, and I realized that I prefer doing my normal meditation. Bye for now.

    11. Experiment during this week: scheduling a focus block without specific task.

    I let myself work on whatever is the most interesting/most high-leverage task instead of planning highly-detailed task plan. I feel more alive than the week before. I almost look forward to the focus block now. A little bit but I count this as an improvement. It's a keeper.

    12. Experiment for the coming week: modified format for the current journal combination.

    Currently I write down longer-term goals and short-term goals in separate columns each morning, along with countdowns of days remaining. Then I write down things that need to be done. These to-do's will be written ONLY in the evening for this week.

    I can't explain this. The day goes significantly more aligned when the to-do's are decided the night before. Also, I snooze less. Whatever the narrative, it works.

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