10 Things I'd Like to Shazamify
Very rarely do I find an app that I love so much it makes me smile the first time I use it. The ipod was like that for me. Facebook was actually like that for me. I couldn't believe I could connect with my friends from 20 years earlier and see what they were up to. I was NEVER planning on calling them so this was the only way my curiousity could be satisfied.
And Shazam is like that. "What's the name of this song?" Never again do I have to say that. Just turn on Shazam! And BOOM! It's "Les Fleur" by Minnie Ripperton. Who knew?
But I'm pretty dumb about most things in the world so I need Shazam for other categories
1. Flowers
I dated someone who would say to me, "You know the name of this flower, right?" And I'd always answer "no" and she would just look at me with disgust. "I just told you last week. How could you not remember the name of this flower?" But I can't do it. I don't know why.
So give me a Shazam that points at a flower and tells me the name. I WANT TO OUTSOURCE MEMORIZING BORING THINGS.
This same girl once asked me, "Why do you wear corduroy pants in the middle of the summer?" I don't know. I just didn't know. Nobody told me.
(The rainbow parrot tulip).
2. Birds
We have a lot of birds flying around where we live. When I was a kid my grandfather got me a book on birds and it described all the common birds. So I vaguely remember. Like, "Is that a Cardinal? Is it male? Do the males have the bright red crests?" I don't know.
I need to know the difference between canaries and humnmingbirds. Shazam for Birds would help.
(The Scarlet Ibis)
3. Where'd you get that Jacket?
Shazam for Jackets
(I kind of want to get a road crew jacket).
4. Shazam for Emotions
There's AI now that can determine what emotional state someone probably is in. I think I can usually tell this but some people have a lot of problems with this. Would be pretty cool to have glasses that can tell you for everyone you meet what emotional state they might be in. Then even suggest in an earpiece what discussion topics might be best to broach given their emotional state.
Here's an article on Emotional AI
5. Shazam for Cars
I have no clue. I don't have a license. I am closer to getting a pilot's license right now than I am to getting a driver's license.
The only problem is: in order to get a pilot's license I need a driver's license. This is the entire reason why life sucks.
Sometimes Uber says I am getting picked up in a Mercedes. I say, "There's our car." .. "No, you idiot. That's a Hyundai." How do you know? Shazam for Cars.
Here's an article about a Shazam for cars that has 97.7% accuracy. Which seems like impressive video recognition. I went to their website though and I'm not sure they are making this app anymore.
(like, what car is this?)
6. Shazam for Houses
I think for pretty much every house in the country it's public information who lives there and how much the place cost.
So if I'm driving around a nice neighborhood I want to look at each house and know who lives there and how much it costs. RIGHT NOW. I don't want to look it up.
Ok, just googled it. Something like that exists. I'm going to try it.
(the old version: a map)
7. Shazam for Restaurant dishes
This happens a lot. I'm getting seated at a restaurant. I see a great dish being carried by a waiter to some table. It looks great. I want to order it.
We get to the table and ask the waitress..."what was that dish?" Which one? The one that guy was carrying. I don't know. And then we're going through each item in the menu. No...no...no... It's hopeless.
But the second I look at a dish I should see the name of it in my augmented reality Shazam-like glasses.
(i need to know the name of this dish!)
8. Shazam for TV shows
Sometimes I go into the Living Room and my kids are watching a TV show. "What show is this?" And then they give me a ten minute description of the worst show ever made.
I should just know what the show is, get an instant review in my ShazamGlasses, and not have to pretend to be polite while they describe it.
(do you know what show this is?)
9. Shazam for Clout
A bit harder since this would require facial recognition which I don't think is legal.
But when walking around, if someone has over a million followers on social media I'd like to know who they are and why they have so many followers.
Like maybe I can see someone who has a popular parkour tiktok channel and I can ask him to climb a building or something.
There used to be a website called Klout but I don't know what happened to it.
10. Shazam for Shazams
There's a new Shazam movie coming out and I saw the trailer. I didn't understand.
When I was a kid there was Captain Marvel, Captain Marvel Jr. and Mary Marvel.
Who are all these Marvels now? I need a Shazam just to figure out who all the Shazams are.
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