10 things I've learned from reading "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie
![10 things I've learned from reading "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie](https://notepd.s3.amazonaws.com/posts/611OWa8xWL.png?time=1725754520545)
1. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
This is probably the most important thing I've learned from the book. If you want to influence someone, you need to talk about things that interest them, not yourself. Dale Carnegie gives the example of a man who wants to sell insurance to a busy executive. The executive is not interested in insurance, but he is interested in his hobbies – fishing and golf. So, the insurance salesman talks about fishing and golf, and the executive is much more receptive to what he has to say.
2. Smile!
Dale Carnegie says that a smile is one of the most important tools in winning friends and influencing people. He points out that when you smile, people are more likely to trust you and feel comfortable around you. Moreover, smiling makes you look more attractive and approachable.
3. Remember people's names (and use them!).
Another important tip from Dale Carnegie is to remember people's names. He says that people love hearing their own name and it makes them feel important – which, of course, they are! When you remember someone's name, they are much more likely to trust you and feel positively towards you.
4. Be a good listener (and show it!)
It's not enough just to be a good listener – you need to make sure that the other person knows that you're listening! One way to do this is by making eye contact and nodding your head occasionally while the other person is speaking. This shows that you're paying attention and interested in what they have to say.
5. Talk in a natural, easy-going way (avoid "lecturing").
Nobody likes being lectured at! If you want to influence someone, it's important to talk to them in a natural, easy-going way. This means avoiding technical jargon or long-winded explanations – instead, focus on communicating your message in a clear and concise manner.
6. Make the other person feel important (and do it sincerely!).
One of Dale Carnegie's key principles is that everyone wants to feel important – so make them feelimportant! He gives the example of a man who goes out of his way to help an elderly lady with her groceries: by doing this simple act of kindness, he has made her feel important and appreciated, which will make her much more likely to trust him and listen to what he has to say.
7. Avoid arguments (they rarely achieve anything!).
Arguing rarely achieves anything except making both parties angry and upset! If you want to influence someone, it's better to avoid arguing with them altogether – instead, tryto find common ground or areas of agreement between you two. Dale Carnegie gives the example of two men who have opposite views on politics: rather than getting into an argument about it, they agree to disagree and move on – no harm done!
8. Give praise and sincere appreciation.
Everyone likes to be praised – so give praise and sincere appreciation whenever you can! This will make the other person feel good about themselves and more likely to trust you and listen to what you have to say.
9. Help the other person see things from your point of view.
If you want to influence someone, it's important that they see things from your point of view. Dale Carnegie gives the example of a man who wants his wife to buy a new car: rather than just telling her that he thinks she should do it, he takes the time to explain why he thinks it would be a good idea, considering their budget and needs. By doing this, he is much more likely to convince her to buy the car!
10. Let the other person do most of the talking.
Last but not least, Dale Carnegie says that it's important to let the other person do most of the talking. This way, they will feel like they are being listened to and valued, and they are more likely to trust you and listen to what you have to say in return.
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