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10 things to do to find 'the one'

Thanks @wyip

Let me speak from a male perspective for a moment:e

In some parts of the world, it's terribly difficult for men to find someone. I've heard that in China, millions of men are condemned to being single because of an unequal gender ratio. That sounds horribly depressing. Men who live in countries with a better male-to-female ratio are in a much better position (assuming other factors are advantageous, such as polygyny not being the norm).

So if you are a man living in a country where most men are not condemned to being single, you shouldn't take that for granted. And yet, people are having less and less sex and are more and more afraid of meeting people in real life, dating apps having become normalized (which don't work great for the vast majority of men).

Get out there and meet people!

10 things to do to find 'the one'

    1. Realize that it's not that hard and that YOU CAN DO IT

    2. Go to events using MeetUp or CouchSurfing or another platform

    You probably shouldn't do this with the sole purpose of finding someone (it's often obvious and can be annoying), but it's one way of meeting people and that's a good first step.

    3. Understand that looking for "the one" might be a futile search

    I heard of a book targeted towards women, titled "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough". I think the idea of the book is that if you've been on dates with, say, twenty men throughout your life, one of them was probably good enough to spend your life with.

    At some point, you gotta pick someone, work through the superficial differences, and work on the relationship. But of course, you shouldn't settle for someone who's bad for you or someone with whom you just don't match. I guess it's unclear how to figure out when it's a genuinely bad match or when there are differences you can work through.

    I'm certainly not the best person to go to for advice here, I'm just sharing my thoughts out loud.

    4. Don't use dating apps

    5. Make sure your values are somewhat aligned

    At least if that's something that matters to you (or to them).

    6. Offer random people maple syrup popcorn

    Or anything else out of the ordinary. You may be more comfortable doing this at a bar or on a bar street, but you could do this anywhere in the middle of the day really. If it scares you, work up to it little by little.

    7. Force yourself to meet one new person per day

    It doesn't always have to be someone you're attracted to. As a straight man, I love meeting other dudes to become friends with. And this can lead to meeting more and more people, including the sort of people you might be interested in dating.

    You can start by just asking people for directions or something. I would recommend going all the way to at least exchanging names.

    One easy trick is just to go to an area you're less familiar with and ask people for recommendations. The easiest is when you're abroad, but you could do this in your own city.

    8. Try new activities

    Take a dance class, try laser tag, go axe-throwing, ...

    9. Find a buddy who also wants to meet someone

    Encourage each other.

    10. Print out posters saying you're looking to meet people who are interested in what you're interested in

    A simpler version of this would be to post something on a Facebook group, but I like the idea of printing out posters.

    Back when I moved to an Italian city which didn't have a ton of things to do, I posted a message on a Facebook group saying something like "any entrepreneurs / freelancers wanna meet up?", I eventually met up with one guy and it was an instant friendship. While in this case, it was great for friendship, you might meet a potential romantic partner or meet friends through which you will eventually meet someone that's right for you.

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