Check Out on Your Own Terms

Let's start with the notion that I do not have any desire to 'check out'. Life can be many things, but it is always worth fighting for. If that's different for you, check the number in your country to call. You are not alone in your battles and help is always available.

That said, I can think of so many fun things to do when you don't mind dying in the process. Here comes my top 10:

1. Mount Everest Records

Become the first (and probably last) to swaffle the peek of Mount Everest. Sure, you might not survive the experience, with winds blowing at -50 degrees Celsius, but hey, a world record.

2. Annoy the rich kids

People pay over 100.000 dollars to summit Mount Everest. So it would be fun to poop on the top of Mount Everest, so people after you can choose to not entirely summit, or step into your poo.

3. Annoy the army

Break into the barracks and then hack a tank so that when they try to fire the cannon, a flag pops out of the barrel displaying the word 'bang'. I can't wait to see their faces when they noticed this prank on the battlefield.

You might not survive their wrath though.

4. Annoy the Russian Frontline

Go to the Ukraine-Russian frontline. Sneak up to the Russians, blow a paper bag and make it bang.

Hillarious.

5. Annoy the Russians

Dig a tunnel right into the prison holding Navalny. Come out, fully dressed in a space suit. Look worried, and say in fluent Russian: 'Hello. I'm from the future. They are about to crucify Jesus. Take me to Temple Mountain as quickly as possible.'

6. Steal a nuclear submarine

Don't forget to identify yourself as captain Nemo.

7. Rob a bank

and bring a big burlap sack and demand them to fill it up with BitCoin. On the double!

8. Start a political party named 'The Apocalyptic Party'

This is a game for three. Always show up cloaked and riding on black horses. Say that your party wants to destroy the planet and all life on it. Don't forget to praise other political parties and countries for already aligning with your plan on many points.

9. Bringer of death

Go to a Chinese town that is still in full lockdown. Get out dressed as Death (black coat, scythe) with a sign on your neck that says 'Free hugs'.

Wait what... they ended all lockdowns... Well, maybe take this idea to the front line as well.

10. Fight the Jihadi

Dress up with high heels, fishnet stockings, a denim miniskirt, a white top covering fake boobies, a wig with blond pigtails, overdo with make-up, blow pink bubble gum, arm yourself with a Kalashnikov, hang a Bluetooth speaker onto your scrotum that plays 'Little Miss Strange from Jimi Hendrix', and enter the Mali dessert to take out a Jihadi camp singlehanded.

Wanja