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Excuses Why My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me

How many excuses are missing from the list? These are the top 10 that I could quickly jot down.

    1. You missed your 12 minute window of opportunity

    I've forgotten about this one because it's been so long, but there used to be a window where I had 8 minutes to complete the performance. But, it had to be initiated at some point within a 12 minute window between 6:13am and 6:25. Game off if any earlier... or later.

    2. "You just did this"

    That's right. I forgot. It just happened... 3 weeks ago. mybad.

    3. Sneaking into bed and fake sleeping

    Lights out and "snoring" earlier than normal.

    4. Sneaking out of bed before I wake up

    The most common and masterful move of all.

    5. "I just took a shower"

    Sorry, but I don't feel like dirtying myself.

    6. "I haven't taken a shower"

    Sorry, I just took a dump.

    7. "My stomach hurts"

    or... "god, I feel like shit."

    8. "I'm really tired"

    The old standby... It's been a long day. I can't wait to get to sleep.

    9. In the morning

    The most common response... "Let's meet up tomorrow." I guess that's a no.

    10. Unspoken exasperation, eye-rolling, heavy exhale...

    ... followed by an "okay". It always works... for her.

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