Excuses Why My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me
How many excuses are missing from the list? These are the top 10 that I could quickly jot down.
1. You missed your 12 minute window of opportunity
I've forgotten about this one because it's been so long, but there used to be a window where I had 8 minutes to complete the performance. But, it had to be initiated at some point within a 12 minute window between 6:13am and 6:25. Game off if any earlier... or later.
2. "You just did this"
That's right. I forgot. It just happened... 3 weeks ago. mybad.
3. Sneaking into bed and fake sleeping
Lights out and "snoring" earlier than normal.
4. Sneaking out of bed before I wake up
The most common and masterful move of all.
5. "I just took a shower"
Sorry, but I don't feel like dirtying myself.
6. "I haven't taken a shower"
Sorry, I just took a dump.
7. "My stomach hurts"
or... "god, I feel like shit."
8. "I'm really tired"
The old standby... It's been a long day. I can't wait to get to sleep.
9. In the morning
The most common response... "Let's meet up tomorrow." I guess that's a no.
10. Unspoken exasperation, eye-rolling, heavy exhale...
... followed by an "okay". It always works... for her.
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