Horoscope - December 19th

Could it be that you're addicted to suffering? Let go of what isn't working out and focus on what is. Your affirmation for the day: "I deserve to be happy even if I ran over three cats this year without telling anyone."

A bright future awaits: you're going to see that white tunnel during a near death experience. Your grandma won't be there, though, because she's too busy playing Scrabble in the after life.

You will soon go on a date, which means you will finally cut your toenails.

Don't be afraid to explore your sexuality! Next time you're in bed with your partner, try doing something else than the old and boring routine in which you dress up like a baby and cry.

An 8-year-old child will ask for your help with their math homework and you will realize that you are not a functionning member of society.

Rejection doesn't necessarily mean no. Sometimes, it means "you suck and you never should have tried in the first place."

You know you need to get out of your comfort zone. So go do a fun activity like axe throwing, skydiving, or making eye contact with a person of the opposite sex for more than two seconds.

Is it love or lust? You'll have to figure it out before the BDSM orgy comes to an end.

Sometimes it's better to wing it and go with the flow rather than plan out everything in every detail. And who knows what kind of surprises might come out of this pig heart transplant?

It's time to become more openminded even if it makes you uncomfortable. Don't say that communism is bad if you haven't tried to murder rich people yourself.

Are you wondering if you're suffering from imposter syndrome? You should know, you're a psychotherapist. Not a very good one, apparently.

Time to send your prayers out into the cosmos, where nobody can answer them.