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Journal -Trauma

I received a letter about my upcoming court case today.  Even before receiving it the subject has been on my mind for a while.

    1. Dreams

    I guess nightmares are closer to the right word, yet I never feel stressed or panicked.  I see him and run or I fight, get stabbed, but take him down too. 

    Running is the best option should see him again, especially when knifes could be involved.  If I'm forced to fight I need to view it as a fight for my life and I need to win.  

    I don't think I'll come across him again, but as a good scout I know I should always be prepared.

    2. Witness

    It's likely that I'd be called in to be a witness., so facing them again will happen.  At least in that context I should be safe.  It's unlikely with the evidence that he'd get away and attack me afterwards, but I should be prepared for that as well.  If he gets the jail would someone he knows then attack me on his behalf?

    I should bring friends/family and not overstay my welcome there.

    3. What next?

    For now I can't give them any ammo.  I doubt there's anything I could say/do that would work in there favourite, but just incase I should double think before all my actions.  

    I need to continue to be cautious and be ready to defend myself/run should I need to.  

    As the date gets closer the likelihood of chaos happening goes up.  Unless they think he can somehow win, which is just as bad an outcome.

    If he gets the jail it's unlikely that he'll be happy.  I'll need to be prepared for retaliation once he gets out, or from people he knows whilst inside.

    If he doesn't get the jail he'll want to attack me himself.  I'll have to be on my guard 

    4. China

    I could still run away and live the life of a king in China.  I can video call as a witness out there and not need to worry about retaliation.  At the moment this still seems like my best option

    I wish I could think less about this, but overthinking is what's keeping me safe, so I can't really complain.

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