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My next moves

I'm at breaking point. Hopefully I can get through these without too much stress.

    1. Quit Job

    I've wanted to leave for over a year now, but keep putting it off for one reason or another.  The job stresses me out.  I've no future here and I've nothing more to learn.  It's easy and convenient, but I want more for my life.

    If I quit I can focus my mind on other things.

    2. Holiday

    Dad wants us to go to another family wedding.  It'll be good to get away for a bit.  Hopefully I can find some time to rest my mind for a bit.

    3. New job

    I think I'd enjoy doing entertainment at hotels or something.  Gets me away from here and it's something I'm good at.  I might even be able to grow in that space.

    I want to get a job I love again and I want to get out of this city.  Win win.

    4. Court

    I'm still wanting to push through with this.  I've heard they're 'getting help', but they always do and once all's forgiven they stop and before long the cycle repeats.  I hope this will put a stop to the cycle real progress can be made.  Without consequences bad habits continue.

    It's really stressful.  How mad are they?  Do I need to watch my back 24/7?  What strangers their friends in disguise?  I'll survive.  I always do, but this is far more stress than I want in my life.

    5. My business

    I need to send a letter off about taxes and stuff.

    I'd like to make more designs, but it's hard being creative when you're mind's filled with so much crap.

    I still need to order my dad's T-shirt.  Maybe I can do that this week.

    6. China

    It's still my ultimate goal to get back out there.  I feel that's where I belong.  Or at least it's closer to where I belong.  Definitely not here.

    I don't see Scotland improving anytime soon.  Everything looks like it's on a path to get worse.

    7. Advice Videos

    It's not easy sharing them when I feel like this, but people really seem to be benefiting from them so I'll keep it up.  I might even find the answers I need to get myself back to 100%

    8. Rest

    I think I need this more than anything.  I always thought I could think myself better and it's stopped me from feeling suicidal, but it's still not 100% effective.  There's something outside of thoughts that dragging me down.  Maybe if I focus on the physical and work out/eat better this side will change.  Maybe it's something outside of that.  Whatever it is I'll find a solution.  That's just who I am, a problem solver.

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