New jokes

It's been a great year for Glasgow Celtic. ,9 - 0 against Dundee, 4 - 0 against rangers. And now this

*I'm not celebrating. Just pointing out that there's bound to be a few nut jobs that see this on the same terms as a football win.

What's that? The Queen can move as much as she likes in any direction? Aye, sure she can.

* not the best. Probably too mean spirited.

I read a sign at my local night club. 'Any man/woman may use this bathroom'. Any man/woman! Man /woman! I was disgusted the correct term is trans-woman.

*this has potential. Might need some work on the wording

Ova times much more fun when you work in an anime store.

*very neish joke, but those who understand what an ova is should like it.

Remember - hashtag Be Kind. Or is that only after you drive folk into sever depression/suicide ?

* I see too many folk being mean to people only to post bekind and mental health related things after said person has committed suicide.

I bought myself a kettle bell. Useless, the only think ringing are my clothes.

*ringing, Scottish for soaking.

Weed in the toilet. How

Weed in the garden, strange looks.

Weed in the toilet, how'd it get there?

* rubbish. Maybe I can do something with it.

Nation in mourning. Not anymore. It's lunch time.