Rebounding after a failure

I fail. And then I feel terrible. Here are ways to help me rebound.

1. Complain to someone you love

Get it out of your system. Sometimes I just need to vent and feel heard.

2. Go for a walk.

Walking it off helps me. I don't know why. But I feel better afterwards. Maybe it helps me blow off steam and get some distance.

3. Pivot

Move on quickly to something else. Something I do well.

4. Try to understand why

What contributed to the failure? Execution. Planning. Unclear direction or expectation. A bad day by someone else. Time. Did I try something I'm not good at? Was there a disconnect somewhere? Was it even my fault? But own the failure and its learnings.

5. Retrospective

Ok. Now what should I have done differently? Try to list out what I'll do differently next time. Again...Own the failure and it's lessons.

6. Ask someone for perspective

Maybe the perception of failure is incorrect. Maybe it was not as bad as I think. What did a friend or colleague observe? Others can give you a more complete picture.

7. Leave the pity party early

I think feeling down is natural after a loss or failure. And unrealistic to ignore feeling bad. But staying in a perpetual pity party is not going to help you. You gotta move on.

8. What does the failure tell me about myself?

I'm good at communication. I'm not so good at planning. Sometimes I think I can overcome my planning problems with communication (talk it out with others) but that does not often work for me. So maybe I need to work on learning some planning skills.

9. Nobody is perfect.

I know this is true, yet some people do seem to be perfect. And that makes me think "what is wrong with me?" I only see what others want me to see. There are likely sides of them that are very flawed. I just don't see them. So I give my self a little patience a little forgiveness.

10. Get back up.

Sometimes the hardest thing is to get back at it when I am still hurting. Yet, when I find my next success I'll feel better about myself. Getting back at it is important. It's hard. I'm not a very disciplined person, so this is something I really need to concentrate on when I fail. "Ok. Note to self - that did not work. Get back up and keep moving. I'll remember that failure when I see that circumstance again. Because odds are high and I will. And when that happens I'll be better prepared with at least one think NOT to do."

BillDreit