Some funny experiences and stories I've heard

In junior high school, a guy named G. caught his neighbor with a judo lock. He talked to his neighbor like some people do to imbeciles while that guy was whining and yelling: Are you alright, Tony? What's the matter, Tony?

It was the funniest thing I have ever seen.

At school, we had a lecture by a worthy EU representative. Our teacher asked us to think of questions. My neighbor whispered in my ear: Are you gay?

I laughed hard and couldn't stop.

I was a student on a bus going to karate practice. The bus driver was talking to a colleague over the radio. Suddenly there was a bang. The bus driver said very calmly: I just drove over a traffic sign, but I don't give a shit.

All the people on the bus laughed.

Our cat insistently slipped between my mother's legs until my mother accidentally stepped on the cat's paw. A little later, when the cat was limping a little, she said: What's the matter with you, kitty? Does your paw hurt?

I only heard this story second-hand: In an inn in our village, a prankster said that a certain overweight old farmer from the neighborhood had died. Everyone present was persuaded.

A little later, however, the allegedly deceased walked past the window of that inn.

When I was in the military, we had an overweight corporal who wasn't very popular. We sat in a transport vehicle to go to some exercise. You had to climb onto the loading area of these vehicles using a kind of ladder. Someone asked from below if this corporal was in the vehicle. Someone replied: No pig can climb up here.