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Teacher! Jokes

I wrote a comedy set about me as a teacher.  This is a list of joke's I could add into the set.

Teacher! Jokes
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    1. My'a name'a is'a

    Kid's and adults always added an 'a to the end of English world's.  I could talk about getting angry that they never repeated the word's probably.

    I could expand and talk about how I got spat on when they added the 'a.

    2. Hitting on my girl

    Kid's would miss behave and I'd punish them.  They'd then cry and the classroom assistant would then hug them.  I could talk about how we both had a crush on her and the kid found a better way to get her affection.  

    One kid was chaos.  He'd always carry on and not listen.  I tried my best to keep myself calm.  I wanted to show my best side as their was this really cute classroom assistant I was getting into.  One day Jim went to far.  He's running around hitting other kid's and screaming,so I snapped. 'Jim! Get outside now!' and I gave him evil eye's.  I could have stunned the devil himself into shock with them.  Jim then burst out into tears.  The classroom assistant looked at me with disgust.  I felt like I'd just been stabbed in the heart.  She runs over and hug's little Jim until he stopped crying.  Then Jim looks up at me and smirks. He knows he's won.  And he's rubbing it right in my face.

    3. It's a duck

    I remember one kid calling a dog a duck for the longest time. Took me a while to realise that when a Scotsman says dog (and not the Scottish,dug) it sounds an awful lot like duck.

    I could have a back to back between me and student until I snap.

    It's a dog

    It's a duck

    It's a dog

    It's a duck

    Dog

    Duck

    Doooggg

    Dduucckk

    Dog dog dog

    Duck duck duck

    Aagghh...

    Aagghh...

    Huh.

    Huh .

    Aaaagggghhhh....!!!!

    Kid crys

    4. Not to shabby

    Shabi (spelling may be wrong) means stupid c**t in Chinese.  I could base a joke around saying not to shabby to a kid and having them all freeze and look at me. Tell their parents and get me fired.  Or they decide to copy me and say 'not to shabby ' over and over again, laughing.  They say to wrong person getting me in trouble with parents.
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