Top Ten Reasons To Avoid Holiday Parties

Half the room is sweating, the other half is hunting for a parka.

Nothing says joy like aggressively shouting “Happy Holidays!” at people you barely know.

One person controls the playlist and really believes everyone wants a 12-minute remix of “Jingle Bell Rock.”

Casseroles with no clear origin, ingredients, or expiration date.

“So… still busy?” asked for the 14th time by someone who already knows the answer.

Spending $25 on a thoughtful gift and receiving a mug that says “Live, Laugh, Spreadsheet.”

Fueled by eggnog, suddenly telling deeply personal stories no one requested.

Trivia, games, or icebreakers designed to make introverts reconsider their life choices.

Saying farewell six times over 45 minutes while slowly inching toward the door.

Lying in bed wondering why you said that thing, to that person, that loudly.