10 ideas for a goofy martial art
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1. One of the techniques when getting attacked: pretend to be a sea elephant
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2. When attacked from behind, start singing a song by Céline Dion
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3. After punching your adversary, don't forget to kiss the wound
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4. Whenever possible, fart in your opponent's face
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5. Always have a banana on you
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6. To intimidate your opponent, start by doing the choreography from Uptown Funk
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7. Alternative to the chokehold: put them to sleep by telling your life story
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8. Hug your opponent and tell them you understand how hard it must be right now
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9. Stare in your opponent's eyes and tell them you're in love with them
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10. Take your clothes off and twist your own nipples to confuse them
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