10 rules for a new religion
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1. To consume your marriage with your spouse, you must first give her father a foot massage
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If her father is dead, she can pick someone else for you.
2. Consuming maple syrup is forbidden
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And nobody really knows why, although there are some hypotheses.
3. Do not masturbate - except in designated areas
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4. There are 392 types of heaven and you can pick the one you want when you die
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But you get paralyzed by the paradox of choice so you stay in purgatory for centuries.
5. There is a hell, but only for people who talk about their screenplay without ever actually writing it
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6. Prayers must be done while doing a handstand
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7. You can have sex before marriage, but a priest must be present
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8. The religious homeland is in Antarctica and you must make at least one visit in your lifetime
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Penguins are sacred. If you encounter one, bow down and pledge allegiance.
9. There are 14523 and a half gods
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You must pray to all of them at least once in your life and they all have very complicated names that are hard to remember. One of them is a bowling champion and he's a really cool guy.
10. Whoever finds physical evidence of one of the gods gets free waffles
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