1. Move to a country where people very rarely steal stuff. Like Japan or Singapore.
2. Bring a dog along with you. Have your dog guard the stuff on your table. Better yet, get a trained parrot with a beak strong enough to chop fingers off.
3. If the person at the counter isn't too busy, ask them to help look over your table.
4. Put a massive warning sign on your table that says, "This Table Is Being Monitored For Theft By CCTV".
5. Bring a set of chains or rubber straps or wires with you and use those to strap and lock your laptop to the table.
6. Bring a super long rope with you to the cafe. Tie one end of the rope to the laptop. Tie the other end of the rope to your wrist before going to the washroom so you can feel your laptop isn't getting taken away.
7. Bring along a lot of pins and needles. Use adhesive to attach those all over your laptop before you visit the washroom. Or just dump a lot of cacti on your laptop.
8. Move your laptop from your table to your chair. And cover the entire chair with your jacket so no one can see it.
9. Bring along several spotlights with you. When you go to the washroom, turn the spotlights on and position them all to light up your table so everyone in the room will be watching.
10. Cut off a piece of electric fence. Attach it to a portable battery. Use that to cover your laptop and turn it on when you're at the washroom.
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