How we're outsourcing relationship building

Outsourcing relationship building is trading convenience and time for mass outreach and poor chances of a genuine heart to heart.

1. PR or assistant blindly reaching out to hundreds, thousands of media/podcasts

2. Dating sites

Built for mass opportunity (there's always more fish in the sea after all) and efficiency, however lots of time is wasted searching for greener grass and communicating and building feelings that often end up being wasted before ever meeting in person. There is an ancient attraction and interest (eye contact, pheromones, etc) that can only be found in the three dimensions. Try to get to that as soon as possible.

Real relationships can be inconvenient, not at the time we want, not packaged with a perfect bow on top and they reflect how the real world is.

3. Virtual assistants

Reading our email, replying on our behalf, filtering inbound contact, having arguments for us (haha), etc.

4. Podcasts

Rather than having unique and genuine, interesting conversations ourselves with a stranger we can just listen to Joe Rogan talk shop with another person we'll never meet.

It is much safer than actually getting to know a stranger ourselves... We can always turn off the podcast if it gets too uncomfortable and personal. And forget actual skin on skin body contact... Is that even safe anymore?

I wanted to write books as a separate idea, but we don't have to meet our mentors anymore we can just read books from the best of the best from the comfort of our couch.

5. Zoom

Why meet in person anymore? Who has time for that? Let's just meet on zoom for 15 minutes and get caught up. No time for small talk, water cooler talk, or any of that pesky unscheduled chit chat. Yuck!

I don't even have to put on pants, wash my hair, or brush my teeth. And they'll never know!

6. TV

Some of my favorite shows: How I Met Your Mother, Friends, Cheers, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, and New Girl feature enough casual conversation and shenanigans for me... Why do I want that in real life when I can watch it on TV and scratch the same itch?

7. Back porches

If we sit on our back porch we don't have to talk to any neighbors that walk by. Much better than possibly having to talk with someone who voted for that guy, believes in this other guy, and may or may not be married to someone like that!

8. Social media

Perfect photos, bios, and outlines of our life uploaded into the ether. We're perfectly displayed, organized, and primped. Our best side only via the amazing algorithms and matching technology showing us exactly what we want to see and more of it than we can ever consume. Forget about hearing a different opinion other than my own. Who has time for that? My relationships are all people exactly like me.

9. Shopping online

I don't have to make small talk with that pesky cashier anymore that asks me how I'm doing.

How am I doing? I paid over $4.00 per gallon of gas this morning, avocados are $2.00 each, and the dollar store is now the $1.25 store. How do you think I'm doing?

My items just show up on my doorstep and Amazon will send me a picture of exactly where it is hiding. No more small talk. How am I doing? Seriously... Even Amazon raised my Prime membership to $150/yr.

10. Small business

We don't need to meet our lawyer, accountant, tax advisor, wealth advisor, relator, business partner, web designer, or anyone else in person anymore. All business can be done remote and not in person. Forget about loyalty, small talk, and meaningful connection. It just slows us down. I can't believe my grandfather went to the same church, had the same job, and tax advisor for 50 years. That is so last millennia.

James Q