What are tactics to overcome a setback?
1. Self-compassion
Always. Don't tell yourself that it isn't your fault or let yourself off the hook, but speak kindly to yourself. Even if you screwed up, you could just tell yourself that you're human and eventually you would, like every other human.
2. Examine
Objectively. Did you do all you could? Was there anything you could change? Did you do your best? Again, don't rebuke yourself - just look at things objectively as best you can.
3. Remind yourself that others are dealing with similar things
You aren't the first person to experience this, and even if you are, there will be a long list of people in the future who will experience this next.
4. Remind yourself that setbacks are part of life
Everyone has experienced a setback. As I heard Alex Lickerman, author of The Undefeated Mind say, "You live long enough, something's going to happen to you".
5. Everyone makes mistakes, so that's not uncommon either
Jim Kwik epitomizes this well when he says, "You make mistakes - mistakes don't make you".
6. Sit with it
It's human to sit there and feel the pain of a loss or something that didn't work out.
7. Get back at it
As Shakespeare says, "Wise men never sit and wail their loss, but cheerily seek how to redress their harms."
8. Don't forget the setback
I don't think this is useful because the setback tells us what not to do, so forgetting puts us at risk of doing the same thing over again.
9. Aim to be better than your last at-bat
You think every batter in baseball, every hockey and basketball player gets it on the first try? No! If you look at their performance, even the greats, you'll see that they miss more than 50 percent of the time. They focus on being better the next time.
10. "I'll get it on the next one"
Earlier this year I read 50 Cent's book, Hustle Harder, Hustle Smarter and whenever he has a setback, he always tells himself, "I'll get it on the next one". And so will we!
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