Preview

The conversation.

Person A: "You told an interviewer that you have learned, in your words, "love the thing that I most wish had not happened." You went on to say, "what punishments of God are not gifts."

Person B: "I remember."

Person A: "Do you really believe that?"

Person B: "Yes, it's a gift to exist. And with existence comes suffering. There's no escaping that. And I guess I'm either a Catholic or a Buddhist when I said those things because I've heard those from both traditions. But I didn't learn it, that I was grateful for the thing I most wish hadn't happened is that I realized it. Is that it's an odd and guilty feeling."

Person A: "It doesn't mean you..."

Person B: "I don't want it to have happened. I wanted it to not have happened, but if you're grateful for your life, which I think it's a positive thing to do, not everybody is, and I'm not always, but it's the most positive thing to do." 

Then you have to be grateful for all of it. You can't pick and choose what you're grateful for. And then, so what do you get from loss? You get awareness of other people's loss, which allows you to connect with that other person, which allows you to love more deeply and to understand what it's like to be a human being if it's true that all humans suffer. 

And so at a young age, I suffered something so that by the time I was in serious relationships in my life with friends or with my wife or with my children is that I am understanding that everybody is suffering. 

And however imperfectly acknowledge their suffering and to connect with them and to love them in a deep way that not only accepts that all of us suffer but also then makes you grateful for the fact that you have suffered so that you can know that about other people and that's what I mean. It's about the fullness of your humanity. 

What's the point of being here and being human if you can't be the most human you can be? I'm not saying best because you can be a bad person and a most human. I want to be the most human I can be and that involves acknowledging and ultimately being grateful for the things that I wish didn't happen because they gave me a gift."

Poking Holes...below