Helping Someone Through Adversity
Someone I love attempted suicide last week.
They're dealing with adversity and we've been speaking regularly - but I didn't see this coming.
I thought about others who may be dealing with a loved one who's going through adversity and I came up with this list.
I hope it helps.
1. Never underestimate the power of a simple check-in:
"Hey, I'm thinking of you, and I'm here if you want to talk."
2. Never underestimate your ability to help someone.
When someone is standing at A, we don't need to know how to get them to Z. We only need to help them get to B.
3. Masks
Someone going through the shit will wear the mask they believe you want to see. It's incumbent on us, as the listener, to create a safe place where they feel comfortable removing the mask, or at least pushing it to the side a bit.
4. Listen
Listen more than you speak. And listen for what ISN'T being said.
5. Judgment has no place in these conversations.
6. "Should" has no place in these conversations
7. Assigning blame has no place in these conversations.
8. Guilt
Don't wrack yourself in guilt that you didn't see it, and stop it (I'm struggling with this).
9. Support
Have someone outside of your immediate circle you can speak with - you need support as well.
10. Understanding
Understand that they are doing the best they can. We all are.
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