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Helping Someone Through Adversity

Someone I love attempted suicide last week.


They're dealing with adversity and we've been speaking regularly - but I didn't see this coming.


I thought about others who may be dealing with a loved one who's going through adversity and I came up with this list.


I hope it helps.


    1. Never underestimate the power of a simple check-in:

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    "Hey, I'm thinking of you, and I'm here if you want to talk."

    2. Never underestimate your ability to help someone.

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    When someone is standing at A, we don't need to know how to get them to Z. We only need to help them get to B.

    3. Masks

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    Someone going through the shit will wear the mask they believe you want to see. It's incumbent on us, as the listener, to create a safe place where they feel comfortable removing the mask, or at least pushing it to the side a bit.

    4. Listen

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    Listen more than you speak. And listen for what ISN'T being said.

    5. Judgment has no place in these conversations.

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    6. "Should" has no place in these conversations

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    7. Assigning blame has no place in these conversations.

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    8. Guilt

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    Don't wrack yourself in guilt that you didn't see it, and stop it (I'm struggling with this).

    9. Support

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    Have someone outside of your immediate circle you can speak with - you need support as well.

    10. Understanding

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    Understand that they are doing the best they can. We all are.

    11. It's not about you.

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