What do you want to achieve in 2023?

I quit my dream job few years ago. The life now is much less intense. My overall happiness is probably higher due to less downswings and having either quit or curtailed my go-to vices. I have thought for a couple years that maybe a competitive need forces the life to shape around the pursuit of winning, which of course is not necessarily excellence, rather than the pursuit becoming a part of everyday life.

So I have tried moderation, going easy. I am very comfortable now, but I don't like my life now. I miss the struggle. The trouble is that I think my desire and instincts have become very much truncated. Anger has become easier to contain, and blues are less severe but I don't really want anything intensely anymore. In short, I want to turn the knob on feeling alive. Disappointments are okay every now and then. I just miss intensity and focus.

I was a nomad for a while. Then I wasn't. I haven't left my small country since COVID. I miss being away.

I get competitive and immerse myself in hobbies. Soon enough, the comparison in my head is no longer between me and my peers but me and the professionals. I don't want to do that in athletics. I have been really careful not to do that with jujitsu. I want a long and steady relationship with this hobby. I want to tap out athletic guys in 20's when I'm in my 50's. I don't want to ruin the fun as well. As long as I am on the mat I think about nothing else. Week-to-week jujitsu has been the most consistent causes of enjoyment this year.

Be that as it may, I think competition might add vivacity to my quotidian. I'm still on the fences on this one, though. Besides, my hand injury still hasn't healed, and I have been training with one hand for the past couple months. I'll postpone decision until when I can grab things again.

I hate commuting. I can't believe I still lose hours of my days on the road. Right now I have some minor sources and two major sources of income that are very related, one of which requires a physical presence. I don't hate the work though. Commuting woes notwithstanding I enjoy the work.

Hedging benefits aside, I would like to add one more major source that is significantly different. It might not optimize for full success of my current career path, but it will add more colors to life.

2 major national holidays, Parents' day, and one of the birthdays. That gives me approximately once a quarter. This would be a good quota.

It's the minimum contribution that allows me to retire by the time I am 59. It's nothing super nor does it require extreme frugality. I want to have kids, and this plan can't afford kids. I have higher wealth aspirations, and this number isn't rational but neither is the retirement worry. It's a safety net that successfully gives me peace. The lifestyle I chose has given me freedom but the burden of freedom is uncertainty. This retirement plan brings me peace during the dry spells when I worry.

Some books that have been on my list for too long because they are either too thick or the technical contents are intimidating.

Perhaps related to #4.

I've had it with orgmode. Obsidian is a leading candidate now. Along with it, I would like to train my weekly evaluation to give me life advices for certain questions I can train quantitatively. I have about 300 weeks worth of weekly evaluations for 6 years without missing a week. Some of the entries are already in number formats by default. It would need a lot of tinkering. I just don't know how much time and effort commitment I should anticipate if I tackle this.

It doesn't have to be 8 hours, though empirically I feel groggy with 6 hours unless I exercise very lightly.

Regular time to bed.

Regular time out of bed.

And...

And...

NO SNOOZE!

I never feel good afterward anyway!